What is Happiness?
Happiness is a transient state of mind. As humans, our state of happiness seems to depend on what is happening around us. Sometimes it relates to a new object we have acquired and sometimes to something simply going our way in our lives. Somehow happiness seems fleeting and indeed it is since we cannot seem to hold onto that state of mind without grasping and clutching to keep it present. It is an active emotional state. We work hard to achieve happiness only to have it disappear faster than we would have wanted it to. Then we moved on to search for it again. We link it often to events in our lives which we recall as being happy. I used to tell people that experiencing happiness is fantastic, but the flip side, not so much. I began to propose cultivating contentment as our baseline for our monkey mind. Yes, of course, experiencing happiness also, but not expecting it is anything more than a fleeting moment.
What is Contentment?
Contentment is more of a state of satisfaction, an acceptance of where we are and being fine with that. It is not an up and down active emotional state, but a steady state which we can cultivate to extend its duration. Contentment is the steady state which occasionally erupts into a state pf brief happiness. Contentment feels like- “Yes, everything is fine, everything is good, and I am fine with who I am and what I have in my life.” Contentment starts with a decision to become content and satisfied. Imagine the relief you might experience if you were okay with where you are, who you are, and the things you have. No need to have more or be anyone other than who you are.
How to Create and maintain a State of Contentment?
How you find and maintain contentment is a process that requires a certain amount of vigilance. Understanding your own personality will help you find the way to contentment. Are you a positive person who sees the good in most things, believes in the inner goodness and fairness of life or do you tend to be negative, not trusting in outcomes or people? Of course, we are all a balance of positive and negative, but finding the overall manner in which you look at things will help you create a more consistent path to contentment. Changing your perspective can lead you to begin to understand what contentment feels to you. Letting go of craving, jealousy of what other people have that you don’t, acceptance of the life you have as a good and whole one that you created, being satisfied with where you are in all areas of your life. What often drives us crazy and adds negativity to our lives is looking around and wanting more of our lives, thinking we are not enough and punishing ourselves for not being enough.
I spent so much time looking around at places to live that are “better” than where I am until day I decided to appreciate where I actually am. The moment I decided I was fine with where I am living, lead me to being fine with what I accomplished in my life and with who I am. A peaceful calm came over me and I was content. I no longer had to judge myself against everyone else in the world nor did I have to treat myself harshly for not being what I thought I should have become. I am who I am, I had the career I had, I live where I live, and I appreciate all I have become in this life. I am enough as I am. It does not mean I do not get up and go out to work or try to achieve things. I do it from a point of view that I am already okay and enough. You might find yourself even liking who you are and accepting your foibles instead of disliking yourself. It was a matter of making this conscious decision and sticking with it every time my monkey mind told me I was not enough. Yes, meditation helps, as does yoga practice. Overall, it was just believing that decision I made and practicing living in that way. Looking at things from a positive perspective rather than through a negative one was a major victory and maintaining a vigilance to not slip back into those old destructive patterns. Try it for yourself and you might just find a peaceful contentment in your life.